Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo? It was a Panda-monium! We sincerely apologize for making you read that with your own eyes.
We’ve prepared a selection of some of the best Chinese jokes that will make you laugh, cry, cringe, roll your eyes, and groan in agony. Continue reading at your own risk and with an open mind!
Chinglish Jokes
What better way to break down language barriers than humor and laughter? However, Chinese humor takes some getting used to. Unlike Western sarcasm, irony, and self-deprecating jokes, Chinese humor mostly relies on linguistics and deadpan comedy. Many foreigners don’t find Chinese jokes hilarious, but learning jokes is the way to go if you want to speak other languages besides English.
Chinglish jokes combine Mandarin Chinese and English to deliver a very silly (yet clever!) pun.
These types of jokes in Chinese are perfect for beginners who are learning Chinese as they are pretty simple and usually don’t require a lot of explanation. Chinglish jokes are also a good way to practice pinyin and Chinese pronunciation!
- ABCD
- Question: 谁比较高？A还是C？(wèn: shéi bǐ jiào gāo? A hái shi C?)
- Answer: C，因为， A比C低。(dá: C, yīn wei A bǐ C dī.)
Translation: Who is taller? A or C? C because A is lower than C.
Need some help with the alphabet? The ABCD joke is probably one of the easiest Mandarin Chinese jokes on this list, but it still requires at least an essential understanding of Chinese characters. All you need to know is how to pronounce 比 (bǐ) and 低 (dī). Put it all together, and you got yourself a very punny a-b-c-d!
- How Are You?
- A: How are you?
- B: 好。(hǎo)
- A: Yes, how?
- B: 好。(hǎo)
- A: $!#@$%$@%
The key to this funny Chinese joke lies in the character 好 (hǎo), meaning “good” or “well.” Since 好 (hǎo) sounds eerily similar to the English “how,” the rest is self-explanatory.
- Blood
- A: 吸血鬼喜欢吃辣吗？(Xīxuèguǐ xǐhuan chī là ma?)
- B: 不喜欢。(Bù xǐhuan)
- A: 为什么？(Wèishénme?)
- B: 因为他们喜欢不辣的。(Yīnwèi tāmen xǐhuan bù là de)
Translation: Do vampires like spicy food? No, they don’t. Why? Because they like blood.
The joke lies in the word 辣 (là), meaning “spicy.” 不辣的 (bú là de) sounds like “blood” in English.
Homophone Jokes in Chinese (Puns)
As a tonal language, it shouldn’t be surprising that Chinese humor is rooted in homophones and homonyms. In Mandarin, the word for a pun is 谐音梗 (xié yīn gěng), which translates to “homophonic stem.” Wordplay and puns have a special place in Chinese culture and are used not only as comic relief but are also associated with many beliefs and superstitions.
- Spider-Man
- Question: 谁最知道猪？(shéi zuì zhīdao zhū?)
- Answer: 蜘蛛人!(zhī zhū rén!)
Translation: Who knows pigs very well? Spider-Man!
In China, Spider-Man is called 蜘蛛人 (zhī zhū rén). This sounds the same as 知猪人 (zhī zhū rén), which means “I know the pig-man.”
- Superhero
- Question: 谁是最坏的超级英雄？(shéi shì zuì huài de chāojí yīngxióng?)
- Answer: 失败的人！(shībài de rén!)
Translation: Who’s the worst superhero? A loser!
The transliteration of 失败的 (shībài de) combined with its double meaning results in a somewhat confusing but very effective pun.
- The Class Orangutan
- 快考试了，老师在课堂上帮同学们做重点提示。老师说：“这一题很重要，在前面画星星。” 小志回答说：“老师…可不可以用打勾的啊，猩猩好难画哦…” (kuài kǎoshì le, lǎoshī zài kètáng shàng bāng tóngxué men zuò zhòng diǎn tíshì. lǎoshī shuō: “zhè yī tí hěn zhòngyào, zài qiánmian huà xīngxīng.” Xiǎo Zhì huídá shuō: “lǎoshī… kě bù kěyǐ yòng dǎ gōu de a, xīngxing hǎo nán huà ó….”)
Translation: Before the test, the teacher was helping the student by focusing on the key topics of the lesson. The teacher said, “This topic is very important. Mark this section with a star.” Xiao Zhi replied, “Teacher, may I use a checkmark? An orangutan is too hard to draw.”
The main point of interest is 星星 (xīngxīng) meaning “star” and 猩猩 (xīngxīng) meaning “orangutan.”
Cold Jokes in Chinese
Cold jokes, or 冷笑话 (lěng xiàohuà) in Mandarin, are intended to be bad, corny, or just downright lame. Most of the time, cold jokes don’t have a punchline or a logical ending; they’re nonsensical and stupid, and that’s their appeal!
- Toothpick and Hedgehog
- 有根牙签正在路上走着。他看到一只刺猬经过, 然后大喊：“等等我！公交车！” (yǒu gēn yáqiān zhèngzài lù shàng zǒuzhe. tā kàn dào yī zhī cìwei jīngguò, ránhòu dà hǎn: “děng děng wǒ! gōngjiāochē!”)
Translation: A toothpick was walking down the street. He saw a hedgehog pass by and shouted, “Wait for me, bus!”
- Fish
- 一条鱼在海里游泳，它越游越深，突然就哭了起来。另一条鱼经过问它：“你为什么哭呀？”那条鱼说： “我感觉压力好大哦。” (yìtiáo yú zài hǎilǐ yóuyǒng, tā yuè yóu yuè shēn, tūrán jiù kū le qǐlái. lìng yìtiáo yú jīngguò wèn tā: “nǐ wèishénme kū ya?”. nà tiáo yú shuō: “ wǒ gǎnjué yālì hǎo dà ó.”)
Translation: A fish was swimming in the sea. It went deeper and deeper, and suddenly began to cry. Another fish passed by and asked him, “Why are you crying?” That fish said, “I feel so much pressure.”
- Married Couple
- 一对夫妻出去吃饭。妻子突然大叫：“啊！我忘了关瓦斯，可能会发生火灾！” 丈夫却安慰她说：“没关系, 反正我也忘了关洗手檯的水。” (yīduì fūqī chūqù chīfàn. qīzi túrán dà jiào: “a! wǒ wàng le guān wǎsī, kěnéng huì fāshēng huǒzāi!” zhàngfū què ānwèi tā shuō: “méi guānxì. fǎnzheng wǒ yě wàng le guān xǐshǒu tái de shuǐ.”)
Translation: A married couple went out for dinner. Suddenly, the wife shouted: “Oh! I forgot to turn off the gas. There could be a fire!” To comfort her, the husband said: “It’s okay. Anyway, I also forgot to turn off the water faucet.”
- How Much Does It Cost to Get Married?
- 一个小孩儿问他的爸爸：“爸爸，结婚需要花多少钱？” 爸爸说： “儿子，我不知道。我 还在付款!” (yī gè xiǎo hái ér wèn tāde bàba: “bàba, jiéhūn xūyào huā duōshǎo qián?” bàba shuō: “ér zi, wǒ bù zhīdào. wǒ hái zài fù kuǎn!)
Translation: A little kid asked his father: “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?” The father said: “Son, I don’t know. I’m still paying!”
Character-Based Jokes
Chinese character jokes play with the visual aspects of written characters. These jokes require knowledge of how the Chinese language is written and structured.
- Boating
- 了先生有天去划船，于是…孑孓孑孓孑孓孑孓… (le xiānshēng yǒu tiān qù huáchuán, yúshì… jiéjué jiéjué jiéjué jiéjué…)
Translation: Mr. Le went boating one day, and he…
This joke visually represents Mr. Le rowing a boat using the characters 孑孓 (jié jué).
- Handsome Me
- A: “我好帅”繁体字怎么写？(wǒ hǎo shuài fántǐ zì zěnme xiě?)
- B: 为什么是繁体字？(wèishénme shì fántǐ zì?)
- A: 因为我不是简单的帅。(yīnwèi wǒ bùshì jiǎndān de shuài.)
Translation: How do you write “I am so handsome” in traditional Chinese characters? Why traditional Chinese? Because I am not simply handsome.
The joke humorously suggests that being “handsome” requires a more complex (traditional) script.
- Cup
- American: 你见过木头做的杯子吗？(nǐ jiànguò mùtou zuò de bēizi ma?)
- Chinese: 没有。(méiyǒu.)
- American: 那为什么你们中国字的“杯”是木字旁？(nà wèishénme nǐmen zhōngguó zì de “bēi” shì mù zì páng?)
- Chinese: 你没看到“木”旁边有个“不”吗？也就是说它不是木头做的。(nǐ méi kàn dào “mù” pángbiān yǒu gè “bù” ma? yě jiùshì shuō tā bú shì mùtou zuò de.)
Translation: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood? Nope. Then why does the Chinese character for “cup” have the wood radical? Can’t you see there is a “not” next to the “wood”? It says cups are not made of wood.
This joke plays on the structure of the character 杯 (bēi), using 不 (bù) as a humorous misinterpretation.
More Random Jokes
- Richest Person
- 世界上谁是最富有的人？(shìjiè shàng shéi shì zuì fù yǒu de rén?)
- 傻子，因为傻子有傻福。(shǎzi, yīnwèi shǎzi yǒu shǎ fú.)
Translation: Who is the richest person in the world? The fool, because the fool has foolish fortune.
This joke plays on the phrase 傻福 (shǎ fú), meaning “fool’s luck.”
- Hotel Name
- 问: 最不受欢迎的酒店是什么？(zuì bù shòu huānyíng de jiǔdiàn shì shénme?)
- 答: “免费酒店”。(“miǎnfèi jiǔdiàn”.)
Translation: What is the least popular hotel? The “free hotel.”
The joke relies on the concept that if a hotel were free, it would be overcrowded and thus unpopular due to the inconvenience.
- Notebook
- 问: 什么书在床上不能读？(shénme shū zài chuángshàng bùnéng dú?)
- 答: 笔记本。(bǐjìběn.)
Translation: What book cannot be read on the bed? A notebook.
The humor comes from the double meaning of “notebook” as a laptop and an actual notebook.
- Running Late
- 问: 为什么鸭子迟到了？(wèishénme yāzi chídàole?)
- 答: 因为它在路上耽误了。(yīnwèi tā zài lù shàng dānwùle.)
Translation: Why was the duck late? Because it was waddling.
The joke uses the word 耽误 (dānwù), meaning “delay,” which sounds like “waddle.”
- Phone Call
- 问: 熊猫最怕什么电话？(xióngmāo zuì pà shénme diànhuà?)
- 答: 黑白无常。(hēi bái wú cháng.)
Translation: What phone call does the panda fear the most? The call of impermanence (ghosts).
This joke plays on the concept of 黑白无常 (hēi bái wú cháng), which are two ghostly figures in Chinese folklore.
- Smart Dog
- 问: 世界上最聪明的狗是什么？(shìjiè shàng zuì cōngmíng de gǒu shì shénme?)
- 答: 一只数到十的狗。(yì zhī shǔ dào shí de gǒu.)
Translation: What is the smartest dog in the world? A dog that can count to ten.
The humor is in the absurdity of a dog being able to count.
- Lucky
- 问: 世界上最幸运的人是谁？(shìjiè shàng zuì xìngyùn de rén shì shéi?)
- 答: 真命天子。(zhēnmìng tiānzǐ.)
Translation: Who is the luckiest person in the world? The destined son of heaven.
This joke plays on the phrase 真命天子 (zhēnmìng tiānzǐ), meaning “the emperor” or “a person with great fortune.”
Conclusion
Humor is universal, but it often takes on unique forms in different cultures. Learning jokes in Mandarin Chinese not only provides entertainment but also offers a window into the language and culture. Whether you’re a beginner or an advanced learner, these jokes will surely add a touch of humor to your studies. Keep practicing, and you’ll not only improve your Chinese but also have a lot of fun along the way!
